Twas the night to concede

Twas the 12th of December
and all through the state
Florida's counters
were staying up late.

To count and recount
and count them some more till they found enough votes to favor Al Gore.
They counted all night
and into the day
and soon Bush's lead
was slipping away.

But still not enough
to make Gore the winner
so they counted some more, through lunch and through dinner.
"I need help to win this,"
Al Gore told a friend
"And I know just the man
on whom to depend."

And so Richard Daley
mounted his sled
and flew to Cook County
to wake up the dead.

He brought in Gore votes
from all sorts of places.
he filled up his sled
with votes in suitcases.

He found Gore support
from the sons and daughters of Lincoln, and Adams, and Monroe supporters.
He found votes in jails,
he resurrected Granny
he even got three votes
from Zoe Baird's nanny.

When these votes were counted
the Gore team was mad
Bush was still winning
by one dimpled chad.

So they twisted and bent them
and let in some light
"If they're hanging, or pregnant, they're Al Gore's, by right."
"Thirty votes for Bush"
shouted Counter Number Four, but then Jesse Jackson walked in
through
the door.
"You must be a racist,
that's all I can say.
those votes are for Al Gore, now pass them my way."
The Democrats cheered
for Gore would survive.
But then all those military
votes did arrive.
It seemed that the troops
feared a President Gore, so in came their Bush votes and in came
some more.
It may look like a Bush vote
but just wait a minute!
Gore can't find a postmark without or within it.
Sailors at sea
Could have swum to the shore The fact that they didn't Means they
voted for Gore.
"These votes should be mine,"
Al Gore ranted and raved,
"I should have won,
The system's depraved."

"Let's throw out the system, Let's throw out the law;
Bush cannot win this" He said through clenched jaw.
"Let's discredit Harris,
Abuse and revile
Let's make her the villain"
Said Gore with a smile.

"Treat her like Willey
Like Broaderick, like Jones.
Make fun of her hair,
And her eyes, and her bones.
Challenge her motives-
She's corrupt to the core-
And I'm a poor victim.
I am Al Gore."

"If O. J.'s not guilty
Then surely I've won.
Bring on the lawyers,
Let's start the fun.

Throw tantrums! And challenge!
Spin! and distort!
If we can't win this by counting, We'll win this in court."
And on came the lawyers
Like vultures to prey
They argued all night
And they argued all day.

They found lots of loopholes
And, here's a sad hitch,
The country grew poorer
While the lawyers got rich.

It's a very sad day
The country's a mess.
Al Gore has stained it
Like Monica's dress.

Al, stop all this counting
Heed Clinton's advice-
If you think you've been wronged, Just put on some ice.
Don't drag this country
Through lawsuits galore
Spare us-please spare us-
Step down now, Al Gore.